What do you say when one of your teenager’s friends has been killed in a car accident?
My youngest son is a high school senior. In my email Inbox today was a message from the high school e-news person, letting parents know that one of the school’s students had been killed in a car accident over the weekend.
The name of the kid was a little familiar, so after school today I asked my son if he knew that boy.
Yes, he did: Classmate, something of a friend, someone he’d known and got along with for the past few years. My boy doesn’t have a large social circle, so I sensed right away this might hit him pretty hard.
I struggled a bit with how to keep the conversation going (the school email noted it was important to help students deal with the tragedy). I’m a bit impressed that my guy said he was annoyed that the official school news didn’t include the fact that the friend’s girlfriend was in the hospital, critically injured in the crash
This son, more than most his age, has learned that the actions one takes on the spur of the moment, or the choices that others make, have a huge impact on the future of many people.
I am ever so thankful that my son wasn’t in that accident. I’m ever so thankful that my son recognizes that an instant of poor judgement can result in tragic loss.
My son might not believe it, but I was a teenager once, too. I had a car. And yes, once or twice I did something pretty stupid, and reckless, as a driver. Perhaps it was only sheer luck that none of those lapses resulted in tragedy.
But in the meantime, I have a kid who needs to deal with an important loss, and whose world of fun, video games and hanging out with friends has been interrupted by a tragic event.
What advice do you have for teens, and their parents, when something like this happens?